This may sound morbid, but the fact is that I had the distinct privilige of being the only person with her as she passed. I was laying with her on her bed, because I was exhausted from staying up with her for the two previous nights. My mom had gone home to nap. I think Grandma was waiting for everyone to leave so that she could let go. As long as everyone was there, she was going to hand out and visit. It was the most amazing and moving moment when she opened her eyes, looked right at me, and knew who I was. She hadn't known me in months. She smiled and left. My grandma was the strength of our family. She loved me when I was unlovable (although she did give me a black eye once, but that's a story for another day). She showed me what it means to be righteous. She was one of the best people I have ever known. I thank her for giving me someone to look up to. In my grandma's honor I wrote this. I hope that I make her proud.
Looking Up
When I was a little child
I looked up
Grandma tall -- hair wild
You bent down to play
We baked cakes with bunny ears
Greeting card forts
Grandma songs to alleviate my fears
You laid beside me to nap
When I was a teen
I looked up
Grandma strong -- mean
But you sat beside me to be my guide
We disagreed and always fought
Late night talks
Still you were the wisdom I sought
You wrapped your arms around me and loved me anyway
When I became a parent
I looked up
Grandma there to teach me what wasn't inherent
You held my babies and kept them safe
You had grandkids' days
Rolled ice cream in a can
Baked cookies a million different ways
You wiped little noses and held little hands
When I became grown
I looked up
Grandma sharing all the things she'd known
I sat beside you and learned
We drank coffee and tea
Shared memories
And you taught me what I aspire to be
I held your hand and laughed
When you became weak
I looked up
Grandma -- always the inspiration I seek
I knelt beside you and prayed
We talked about life
Faces and memories passing
Times long gone remained sharp as a knife
I sat with you and remembered
Now --
I look up
Because I know that you're there with God
I lie beside you and hold you