We made the drive into date night. We left around 5 pm and stopped in Bakersfield for a nice dinner. I guess I'm a little more nervous than I thought. Could barely eat. Oh well. Leftovers for Brian.
Speaking of Brian. Boy, oh boy, is he ever making up for our breakup last year. He is taking such good care of me. I feel like a princess.
Rented a room in Santa Clarita. Directly next door to us, there is a pitbull puppy (no idea where his people are). He is barking incessantly. Let the front desk know that I need to sleep tonight since I have to be at the hospital at 6am. Leave it to me to get a room next to a barking dog. Who brings their pitbull to a hotel? Apparently, my neighbors. You know, if something actually went smoothly in this whole process, I really wouldn't know what to do. OK barking doggie, I'm going to try to sleep through your noise. Maybe you'll lose your little doggie voice before morning.
Wednesday: The day is here. It's my last day
of being flat and fabulous. My body will never be like this again.
Once my operating room was finally ready, I remember the anesthesiologist giving me something to relax and kissing Brian. I don't remember anything after that. I don't even remember him putting me under. Surgery ended up only taking about 4 hours. The only problem was that I'm petite. I know, weird thing to cause problems. I guess when you're small like me, it takes a little longer to move muscles and insert objects. Kind of makes sense when you think about it. So, when I woke up, I was in a ton of pain. I had 5 shots of dilaudid. Then, I was moved to my room.
This surgery required an overnight stay. How crazy is it that reconstruction is a much more intense surgery than a mastectomy?
On his way back to the hotel once I went to sleep, Brian discovered that there was a huge wild fire burning in Santa Clarita between the hospital and our hotel. Poor guy gets to join me in doing things the hard way. It's not like I choose these experiences. God only gives us what he knows we can handle, and apparently he thinks I'm a bad ass. It takes a strong man to go through this process with his girl, and I'm so proud of my man, my kids, my parents, and my friends for being able to do this with me.
You know that I'm Super Woman, right? Well, I tried toughing out the pain. I ended up crying like a big sissy la la. Oh my gosh! This pain is worse than anything I have ever experienced. Worse even than childbirth. With childbirth, you push for a while, and the pain is over. This is constant and for days on end. So, now, I'm being a super good girl and taking my pain meds on schedule. Percocet and Valium (for the muscle spasms). Oh yeah, because my pectoral muscles have been moved, there are muscle spasms.
I don't want to scare anyone away from reconstructive surgery, but I'll tell you right now. If anything happens, and these ever have to come out, I'm never doing this again.
Thursday: I almost wasn't released to come home, because my pain wasn't under control. Totally my fault, because of that Super Woman complex, but I was able to make my nurses believe that I would do better, and I promise I am. That pain is way too much to bear.
My prescriptions had been called into the CVS in Valencia so that we would have them for the ride home. The pharmacy assistant at the Valencia CVS was a total witch! She said she called the prescription into my normal pharmacy. I'm sure that there is a computer system that shows I usually go to the pharmacy in Porterville, but there are three CVS's in Porterville. So, since she refused to refill my prescription, I called my pharmacy in Porterville. They had no record what-so-ever of my prescriptions. My pharmacy is awesome, though. So, we just dropped off my prescriptions when we got into town, and they had it ready in an hour.
In the meantime, we had to drive 3 hours to get home. Three hours in a car with an open chest is not the business. I was exhausted and so sore by the time we got home, but I was incredibly glad to be home.
I'm wrapped up tightly. I have the lovely drains again. Good part of the drains . . . remember how much they hurt after the mastectomy? Well, the pain in my chest is so extreme that I honestly don't feel my drains at all. There is always a silver lining, people. There is a huge amount of swelling. My arms don't go down to my sides. In fact, I can't really use my arms. It hurts to an amazing extent when I move myself, pull up my pants, wipe my butt, brush my teeth, open a pill bottle. You don't realize how much you use your arms and chest muscles until you're not supposed to use them.
I am on 4 weeks bed rest instead of the 1 week we thought I would have. This is due to the difficulty with moving my muscles. I freaked out a little bit (just a tiny bit) when the doctor told me 4 weeks recovery, but he promised me, I would be able to work out really hard and get my muscle tone back as soon as everything is healed up. I take pain meds 4 times a day, antibiotics 4 times a day, and muscle relaxers twice a day. I'm pretty high. I clean my drains twice a day. I'm not allowed to bathe for a week. Janie is coming over today to wash my hair for me. Otherwise, I would feel really gross. Now, I just have to figure out how to shave my legs.
Friday: I still have drawings and iodine on my body. I look like an Oompa Loompa. Yesterday and today are supposed to be the worst days for pain. That means there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm laying in bed today writing and watching old monster movies. The recovery process starts now. Brian is doing the cooking. Ian is taking care of the daily chores. Rachel is doing the housework. Janie is doing my personal hygiene. My mom is running errands for me. My tribe is the best!
I hope that this week's post gives you an idea of what the first steps in reconstruction are like. I'll keep you updated as I get better, and I'll share my reasoning for choosing expander surgery. Check out the resource page for information on reconstructive options. Love you all! Thank you for letting me share this adventure with you.