Much of what I have learned over the past year has been from an unlikely teacher, my grandson. He is wise beyond his earthly years. Let me tell you about what he has taught me.
1) Scars are cool! Never, ever has Kayden felt scared of my scars, my stitches, my open wounds. In fact, he still asks to see my boo boos. He thinks they are amazing and wonderful! Therefore, I believe that my body is amazing and wonderful no matter what state it is currently in.
2) Bandaids are awesome! I often trade my gauze and surgical bandages for bandaids with Spiderman or Cars on them. Sometimes, Kayden and I just put bandaids all over our bodies, because they look super cool. I have never felt self conscious about going out in public in my often mummified state, because Kayden loves the way I look in my bandages.
3) Always go potty before you leave the place you are at currently. This little gem of wisdom has come in handy many a time as I travel to and from doctor appointments. I even discovered a very interesting women's restroom where there are two toilets that look directly at each other -- without stalls. Not sure what that's about, but if I hadn't followed Kayden's advice, I would never have seen this anomaly.
4) Fruit snacks fulfill all dietary requirements. They are shaped like fruit, they taste like candy, you can easily carry them with you, and Mom usually says, "Yes," when you ask if you can have a snack.
5) Buy a toy every time you go to the store. Life is too short not to have fun. Buy bubbles to blow when you're sitting in the back yard. Buy a tennis ball to throw to the dogs. Buy a Daryl Dixon doll, because, well, Norman Reedus is freaking hot.
6) You are a superhero. In fact, today, I was Batman and Kayden was Kid Flash. There have been days when I feel tired and sore, then my grandson comes over and tells me, "MaaMaa, today you be Wonder Woman," and I am. If he has faith that I can be Super MaaMaa, who am I to doubt him?
7) Take naps. Oh yes. Take naps. Even when I'm working full time, I take a 15 minute nap at lunch or when I get home from work. There's nothing like that little bit of rest with my comfy blankie to set the world right again.
8) Wear whatever you want. If you want to wear a cape today, do it. If you want to wear your favorite football jersey today, do it. If you want to be barefoot all day long, do it. There is no such thing as dressing your age. There is only dressing to make yourself feel good. If you feel good in your PJs, wear them, unless of course your going to the office. You might need to put on pants for that.
9) Be emotional. Sometimes, we think we have to be strong all the time. Having cancer, kicking cancer's ass, going through reconstruction, it is all exhausting, painful, and scary. Cry. Kick your feet. Sock your pillow (not a wall . . . that hurts and then you have to fix the wall). Then, remember how good life is and laugh until you cry again -- happy tears this time. Yell. Run around the house and sing at the top of your lungs. You get to feel how you feel without any fear of judgement.
10) Be picky. This is your life. If you don't want to eat your broccoli (although that's just silly, because broccoli rocks), skip it. If you only want to wear pink this week, fine. If you don't want to take a shower at the exact same time every day, fine (but at least shower so you're not smelly). Make the decisions that fill your heart with happiness and OWN them.
11) It's OK to change your mind. In fact, you can change your mind 15 times in the next 15 minutes, and it's perfectly acceptable. Life isn't easy. Maybe, I want to watch Street Outlaws, and 5 minutes later, I want to watch The Bachelorette. So be it. Maybe, I want to eat spaghetti for dinner, but then I decide I don't want to cook, so I order pizza. Who cares? The big things in life make it even more OK to change your mind. You might not like the surgeon your doctor refers you to. Stand up for yourself, and get yourself someone you're comfortable with. You decide on a bilateral mastectomy and then decide you would rather do the radiation and chemo, that's your prerogative. No one gets to say what is right or wrong for you except for you.
12) Always speak your mind. There is nothing wrong with what you are thinking or feeling. Be your own advocate. Say what you feel. Tell the people that matter how much you love them. Tell your support team and cheerleaders how much you appreciate them. If you're angry, let it be known. Your are a beautiful, thinking being, and you need to give yourself permission to be.
13) No matter how bad you feel, get up and dance. Kayden will ask to play with my phone. He is a genius at finding the best music. The other day, he discovered Aerosmith's version of Spiderman. He told me, "Get up, MaaMaa! Dance!" And so I did. I was tired and sore, and I danced. Nothing is ever so bad in this world that you can't dance.
So, get up and dance, my loves. Do it with all your heart. Right now! I'm not kidding. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing. Drop everything and dance. I promise you will see the wisdom and the grace that comes into your being when you remember how brilliant 2 1/2 year olds are.