Positive Thought of the Day: Be in the moment.
Positive Affirmation: I make healthy choices for myself and for my family.
Three Action Steps:
1. Enjoy the important things today (playing with Kayden is more important than doing the dishes).
2. Pay attention to my own needs (eat, rest, create).
3. Be open.
One of my children is flying the coop. Edmond moved home in July when we found out I had cancer. He has been here to help financially, do chores, and just to be a son. He's 21. I knew I couldn't keep him with me forever, but I'm going to miss him so much. This has been an amazingly special time to spend with him. I love my children more than there are words to express! They have been such a huge part of this healing journey. I have been blessed with three beautiful people to mother and nurture. Here's the good news. Now, I have a place to stay when I go to the Bay Area. So, Spring Break here I come. For the time being, Mama is feeling like the nest will be empty soon. My poor youngest is going to be feeling my need to bond before he is gone too.
My world is about to change again. Change is good, right? I'm so proud of my Edmond! He's going to do great! Let's check in on Marie and her new world now.
New Worlds Chapter 10
That night I found an obscure little book pushed far into the corner of the bookshelf. Its pages crackled when I opened it as if it had never been read. As I read August Strindberg's The Dance of Death, I began to think of Inez and Chuck, Mom and Dad, and Aunt Tootie and Uncle Bob. Aunt Tootie and Uncle Bob were a different species of married couples. They seemed to actually like each other. Uncle Bob enjoyed doing house work while Aunt Tootie curled up on the sofa with a paper back book and a cup of tea. They didn't yell at each other. They never even seemed to be angry with one another. They were just comfortable. Mom and Dad, on the other hand, seemed to have a love-hate thing going. Dad wouldn't be able to function without Mom who did all of the shopping, ran all of the errands, and worked several jobs at a time to support us all. And, if Dad wasn't there, I had the feeling that instead of complaining to him about all of her woes, she would take her frustrations out on us. Then, there was Chuck and Inez. Although I didn't know them well, I had observed the way that Chuck kept Inez virtually imprisoned in their tiny house. Now, that the party had been planned, I could see that Inez didn't stay with Chuck out of love but out of fear, for here was a woman truly glad to be rid of her tyrannical husband.
On the following Friday night, Inez's house was ablaze with Christmas lights strung from the front door to the solitary leafless tree in the front yard. People laughed and spilled out onto the sidewalk with makeshift glasses of fruit jars and jelly jars filled with lemonade or ice tea in their hands. Music blared from the record player set up on a table next to the bare steps, and children ran through the dirt sending up little clouds that sparkled under the strung lights.
I will never forget Inez's face. Her still swollen lips shimmered with a light pink lipstick. Her hair hung down around her shoulders curled under at the ends, and her eyes sparkled when she bent down and gave me her toothless smile. "I hope you've had a nice visit with your aunt this summer, Marie. It sure has been a pleasure to get to know you."
A couple of years later, Aunt Tootie called to tell me that Inez had lost her long battle with breast cancer. She had died in the Modesto Hospital. "At least, now she won't have to suffer with the pain anymore," Aunt Tootie had said.