Edwin Louis Cole
I don't know if anyone truly understands what day to day life is like post mastectomy. You would think since I'm in remission that everything is just fine and dandy. However, I still have to go to the doctor once a week (at least). I take medicine every day to take away my hormones and to keep my cancer from returning. I have blood tests once a month (at least). I spend hours upon hours in doctor offices, labs, and pharmacies in addition to driving to and from appointments. My immune system is just silly and keeps failing me, and I'm still shocked when I step out of the tub and see myself in the mirror. I look like a much shorter Marilyn Manson, except I'm a lot prettier than him and both of my eyes are the same color.
Today, I made a trip to Bakersfield. I love the time I get to spend with which ever family member has decided to take me. This time, it was my son. It's really special to get to spend 3 hours of uninterrupted time with my 18 year old. Without this breast cancer challenge, I don't think I would have had this kind of bonding time with him. I've dropped weight again. So, my doctor wants to start me on this special protein drink that costs $100 a container. Unfortunately, my insurance does not cover this, because it is naturopathic. Plus, I have to make an extra trip to Bakersfield to pick it up. Ummm . . . I'm thinking my kefir is a better alternative for me. So, tomorrow, I will meet with my beautiful curandera to learn how to make my own.
Let me tell you about a real Christmas story before I give you today's tip. Last week, I couldn't sleep. So, I was on ebay at 2 in the morning. My family has promised to remove all electronic devices from my bedroom when I have insomnia, because I tend to bid on auctions (I love ebay and Tophatter). Well, I saw this jacket. It's leather, has lots of zippers, and has a goat skull embroidered on the back. I bid $1 more than the most recent bid thinking I would never win the jacket. Well, at $12.99, I was the high bidder. I was so excited, but at the same time, I had buyers' remorse, because we are not in the strongest place financially due to me being on disability. With it being Christmas and all, I felt bad about buying something for myself. So when the jacket arrived, it was beautifully packaged with a lavender sachet and a handwritten note from the seller. She had sent me $10 cash, because there was some wear and tear on the color. First of all, I love retro clothing, and I especially love when I know that someone else got joy out of a piece that is now in my closet. So, the little damage did not at all bother me. When I wrote a review for the seller, I sent her a personal note thanking her for her kindness. By the way, the jacket fits me like it was made for me.
Jump to today. I receive a package from Santa Clause who mailed it from Florida for some reason. First of all, I thought Santa lived a little farther north, and secondly, I don't know anyone in Florida. I haven't ordered anything recently, because all of my holiday shopping is done. All three of my kids were here, along with my grandbaby, and my friend Sarah (my curandera) and her daughter. When I opened the package, there was a gift wrapped present along with a handwritten letter. Guess who it was from? Yep, the jacket seller. She sent me a beautiful designer sweater and a pink beanie and scarf (Juicy Couture nontheless) and said she had worn it on her first trip to NYC. Out of the kindness of her heart, a stranger sent me these beautiful gifts. Angels exist, my friends. I have had the privelege of meeting four of them in the past month. If this story doesn't make you believe, you need to be slapped. I'll do it for you if you need a volunteer.
So, here's my tip:
Look for the good and let go of the bad.
Christmas can be stressful for all of us; not just those of us struggling with an illness. However, stress only happens if we let it. All around you there is good. Look for it right now. Are you reading this on an electronic device? Be thankful for the internet, electricity, the ability to read. Are you smiling because there are people out there like my new friend from Florida? Let her be your inspiration. Are you sitting in a nice warm house or a car? Be thankful for the items that we often take for granted . . . food on the table, clothes on our backs, waking up in the morning to another opportunity to get things right. Yep, stuff happens. I know that not every moment of every day is positive, but remember that you can only control you. If a situation is negative, walk away. Do not let outside circumstances affect your attitude, your mood, or your behavior. You can't control circumstances, but you can control how your respond. Trust me when I tell you that there has been plenty of negative happening around me this season. I choose not to engage in it. I choose happiness. I choose peace. I choose to see the angels. Please, join me.
Find your angels, my amazing amigos.