This past week, Happychemo.com quoted me on their web page. You have no idea how good it feels to have others believe in you and help you share your story. OK. That's a bit of an assumption. Maybe you do know. For me, it makes this whole journey worthwhile.
I have a health update. I wish I could say that I grew my boobs back, that I'm a size 2 , and that I'm running 7 miles a day. However, that's not my life right now. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a lump in my chest wall above my right mastectomy scar. I thought maybe it was a lymph node since I was having some issues with lymphedema and had a couple of places where my lymph nodes were swollen and sore. However, this nodule is not sore, and it is in a place where I'm not supposed to have any lymph nodes, because they were already removed. So, I had it checked out. Turns out, it's not a lymph node, and there are two of them. Right now, my doctors all say that they don't know what it is but that it is suspicious. Need I remind you how I feel about the word, suspicious? Nothing good ever comes from "suspicious." If you are suspicious of the man in the black suit and tie that sits in the unmarked car in front of your house every night, you are probably not overjoyed to see him. Not that that has ever happened to me. It's just a thought. If a suspicious charge like the $800 payment to the North Carolina Zoo that showed up on my Visa account appears on your statement, you are probably not jumping for joy. By the way, I haven't been to the North Carolina Zoo since I was 17 years old. And how the hell to you spend $800 at a zoo? What were these people doing? Buying a giraffe?
I have a sonogram scheduled for tomorrow to check on my remaining ovary and a biopsy scheduled for next week to check my new lumpy friends. I'm really not worried about the results. I know that's weird, but I pride myself on my strangeness so it's all good. If it turns out to be cancer, so be it. I kicked cancer's ass once, and I can most definitely do it again. If it's not cancer, then woo hoo! I'll have them taken out, and we'll be done with it.
Although I'm not worried, I am highly pissed off. I thought I was done with this part of the process. I was ready to move on to the next step. I even have an appointment scheduled for my reconstruction consultation. I refuse to change it just because my body is not cooperating with me. I highly dislike my plans being screwed with! I'm furious that my chest is betraying me!
You know me though. I'm always looking for the positive in every situation. From this most recent setback, I have learned that life is too short not to have fun. The last couple of weeks have been an absolute blast! My former fiance decided to pull his head out of his ass and make up for being an poo face for the past six months. We are back together and more in love than ever. I know that previous sentence doesn't sound much like I'm in love, but I am. We belong together, and he is learning to take care of me the way that I deserve. It takes a big man to realize his mistakes, apologize, and then actually fix what he has broken.
We spent our first date night with our kids. We hadn't spent time together as a family in so long that we couldn't shut up. So, it took us four hours to watch a pretty terrible movie. I haven't laughed so much in ages! This past weekend, we took my son and his girlfriend to March Meets at Famoso Raceway which is the beginning of the auto racing season. What a fun day! Raceway food is awesome!! I ate 20 tiny doughnuts. Ha! We walked about 18 miles throughout the day just going from place to place. We went to a really cool swap meet. We saw beautiful cars at the car show. There was a 1970 purple Cuda. Some day . . . some day . . . I will own a Cuda. See? I can't be that sick, because I don't own a Cuda yet. We saw loud cars go really fast. I LOOOOOVVVVEEEE fast cars! We hung out with friends who were camping at the raceway. I made new friends. It was absolutely beautiful!
I plan to have fun every day of my life from now on. We are never guaranteed tomorrow. Laugh, love, enjoy, smile, hug, speak your mind. Never let the negative or a lumpy chest stand in your way of having a good time.