I'm so tired mentally, emotionally, and physically from all the doctor appointments and all the bad news. It has been incredibly difficult to pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep going. Since Wednesday, I have allowed myself to wallow in my sadness, exhaustion, and worry. I have to tell you, sometimes a good cry is exceptionally cleansing. For the past year, I have not allowed myself to feel much. I've been pretty numb. This week, I allowed myself to simply feel. I felt the pain, I felt the sorrow, I felt the worry. Some might see this as weakness. It's not. Feeling takes guts, and I'll be honest. I have not been very brave. Now that I've faced all of the emotional crap that comes with this journey, I feel like I can face the world and LIVE. I'm not saying that I'm done with the hard stuff, but I am strong enough to accept what comes next.
So, go ahead and cry. Go ahead and wallow. Get it all out. Then, move on. You can't recognize the light unless you've experienced the darkness. I promise life is brighter on the other side.