Getting healthy is extremely hard work for anyone who has struggled with any kind of illness. There is a misconception that once those of us who have fought cancer are in remission, that we are no longer sick. For the most part, we look healthy, we work, we play, we love, we live. However, there are so many little things that we have to battle on our road to being well. Most of the time, I look really healthy. I work out, I work tons of hours, and I participate in social activities regularly. I have been noticing lately, that I look pale, I am dropping weight, and I am aging quickly. I've seen this before, but I have fought the notion that something might not be quite right.
I have also been fighting extreme anemia ever since I went through cancer treatment. It's one of the side effects of cancer. I've tried several different therapies leading up to this. Oral iron has not done anything. Shots bring my iron levels up for a little while, then they drop even lower. On Monday, I went in for my regular oncology check up. My iron has completely bottomed out. I only have a 7.5 right now. Normal is 12. My hemoglobin is a 8. Normal is 12. My red blood cells are 4.0. Normal is 4.2. This is after months of different pills and injections. So, I started iron and hemoglobin infusions on Friday.
I thought I'd give you a little rundown on how this works. The process is pretty simple. You get hooked up to an IV. Some beautiful red liquid flows into your veins for a couple of hours. You go home. That's it. I did not have bad side effects. No headache, which is a common side effect, but I did have dizziness for a about 24 hours. The next day I was super achy. My bones and muscles were not loving me, but today, I feel much better. I had no idea I was even low on energy. I'm still a little tired, but I'm pretty sure that this therapy is going to take care of that. I have to admit that 4 hours with an IV stuck in your arm is not a whole lot of fun, but if my blood levels stabilize, it will definitely be worth it. If the infusion therapy does not work, I will have to do blood transfusions to get the situation under control. Easy peasy, right?
Because these blood levels are a symptom, testing will commence to see what is causing this. Yay! Testing! It is the life of anyone who has ever been diagnosed with any kind of cancer. I'm an old pro at testing.
So, as the title of this week's blog suggests, there are things even in this experience to be thankful for.
1) I am thankful for my mom who never fails to be there for me. She drives me to Bakersfield to the cancer treatment center, and now, she will join me for 10 weeks of work with the hematology center.
2) I am thankful for the confidence I have developed. I taught myself how to use a lawn mower and weedeater, and my yard is looking stunning. I know I can do anything that I set my mind to.
3) I am thankful that I have a spirit of perseverance. The construction on my house has finally started. Man! There were days in this process that I wanted to give up, but that's not who I am. I keep going. It's paying off.
4) I am thankful for my friends who check in on me and share their lives with me. I am reminded daily that human connection is what this life is about.
5) I am thankful for a little down time to read, relax, meditate, and just be even if that down time includes being hooked up to a machine with a catheter in my vein.
I need to tell you that no matter what you are going through, having a spirit of gratitude will bring joy into your life. When your emotional body is healthy and well, your physical body will follow. I know this to be truth.
Be grateful for every moments, my loves.