Maybe the question should be, what kind of woman do I want to be?
Quiz time, y'all! Go for it!
1. Do you compare yourself to other women?
2. Do you base your happiness on being in a relationship?
3. Do you follow fashion trends?
4. Do you protect your sexuality?
5. Do you educate yourself about women's issues?
6. Do you stand up for yourself?
7. Do you take care of your body?
8. Do you manage your finances?
9. Do you give to others?
1. Do you compare yourself to other women?
I haven't done this in years. Have you ever noticed how women can look at other women as aesthetic objects, but if a man were to do this with another man we would think it's strange? I have to remind myself to let go of societal norms. I do not have to be runway model thin. I'm never going to be 6 foot tall. You can put me on a rack and try to stretch me, but I really think you'd only get a couple of inches. At 5 foot tall and 120 pounds, I'm a little ball of energy, and most days, I like how I look, how I feel, and who I am. No need for comparisons.
2. Do you base your happiness on being in a relationship?
Oh no! Am I that girl? For whatever reason, I totally want that family thing. Once again, I need to get over the societal norm of what a family is. I have a family. It's a wild crazy bunch of young men, but they are my family. They take care of me, and I love spending time with them. So I don't have a significant other. That doesn't make me insignificant. No need for a romantic relationship to make me happy. Happiness comes first. Then, I can share that happiness with someone else. A relationship is a plus not a must.
3. Do you follow fashion trends?
I've never been a follower. However, I love putting my own spin on fashion. Here's a little known fact. I was given a full scholarship to attend the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in San Francisco when I was a high school senior. Obviously, I didn't go. I had other things to do like work in a lumber yard. What the hell was I thinking? That's not the question at hand. Do I follow trends? Nope. Fashion is fun, but I don't dress like other people.
4. Do you protect your sexuality?
Absolutely! I do not sleep around. I do not frequent bars or pick up joints. I'm no prude, but I do believe that sex is better when trust and emotion are involved.
5. Do you educate yourself about women's issues?
I'm not into feminist issues. However, I am interested in things that are important to society. Breast cancer awareness is , of course, high on my list of priorities now. Mental health awareness is also something that I am passionate about. I believe in equality, and I do stay up on current events.
6. Do you stand up for yourself?
I'm learning to be a self advocate. I still have a difficult time standing up to my former fiance. However, even in this arena, I am getting better and becoming stronger. I am practicing standing up for myself, because I am all I have. No one else is going to do this for me.
7. Do you take care of your body?
We've gone over this before, but I think that it's important to revisit when thinking about what kind of woman I want to be. Strength comes in different forms. Mental and emotional strength are important, but so is physical strength.
8. Do you manage your finances?
Oh my gosh! The financial repercussions of having breast cancer have been really harsh. I got my first disability check today. $5,000 (oh yes that's five thousand dollars) was deducted for sub pay, and I don't even have a sub! Lord help me! I have always paid my own bills and made my own money. I work hard. Good grief! I need to go back to work.
9. Do you give to others?
Probably more than I should. I take care of so many people and so many stray animals that I never have to worry about being alone. This is good, right? I'm still pissed about the money thing. So, perhaps, I need to give my time and stop taking care of every one else. No more spending money unless it's to keep my household going.
Am I a woman? Yes, yes I am in all my feminine glory!! What kind of woman do I want to be? I want to be an independent, happy, peaceful, powerful, girlie, feminine woman.
Today I read the following:
Instead of saying 'I hate cancer' or 'I'm afraid of what will happen' choose to say: 'I'm happy to be free of cancer' or 'I am witnessing amazing things happen to help me heal'. -- Ginger Johnson
I am content with the person that I am. I love my life, and I enjoy being a daughter, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, niece, girl, woman, female. Whatever you want to call it, I'm me even though I no longer have breasts.