After my mastectomy, I had to wait a year before I could start reconstruction. It was tough not having the same sort of body as other women. Even now, with my silicon breasts, I do not look like other women. I will never have nipples or areolas. That's just the way it is. It's easy to say, "Don't compare yourself," but when you don't even look like what other human beings look like, that's not an easy task. Don't get me wrong. I am extremely happy that I no longer have to wear a bra and that my boobs will forever be perky, but still I'm insecure. I have scars that cover my entire chest which makes it hard for me to feel beautiful undressed.
It's also important to realize that when your friends and loved ones are on the other side of an illness or traumatic experience that they may look the same on the outside, but they are forever changed. Remember to help them see their beauty beyond their scars. When they grow and learn, don't feel scared or upset that they are changing. Grow with them and walk beside them through their journey.
As I continue to learn to love my body not just in spite of my scars but because of them, I am learning to trust again. I am learning that the people who matter love ME, the real me, the goofy me, the tough me, the broken me, the warrior me.
I have chosen not to cover my scars with tattoos, because they remind me that I'm a badass. I'm learning how to love myself for everything that I am, and now, I'm learning how to let others love me too.
My point? If you have a loved one that has gone through cancer, remember that they need you far beyond their remission. There is much healing that takes place in the months and years that follow. If you are a cancer warrior, know that you are beautiful because of who you are, and I see you beyond your scars.