by Janie Lane
All is well that ends well. The only thing is,
It's not over yet. Life is good. No longer do I write
to ward off negative emotions. Now, I fill pages
with my happiness. Sixteen; I never want to
change. I've waited so long for this, and like
an exciting thunderstorm, it passes me by
just like the ones we used to chase. It's right
above me, but before I know it, the lightning
will fade, and the thunder will become all the
more distant. Nature forces the storm away along
with my childhood. We'll all go home and
chatter about the brightest flashes of lightning
and the loudest rolls of thunder just as we
chatter about the first few precious years of life
that seem to be so long ago. But, we've yet to
chatter about the end of my teenage thunder
storm. I've come a long way, but I have so
many more thunderstorms to chase.
Janie was such a profound thinker, wasn't she? Well, she still is, but when I find these little gems from her childhood, they just start a whole flood of ideas that I have to write down and share with you.
This week has been tough. Actually, this month has been tough. This poem reminds me, though, to look for the good in those storms. Too look for the flashes of light in the midst of the turmoil. I hope this week's post help you to do the same.
There will come a time in everyone's life when they have to celebrate the first holiday without someone they love. This was it for me.
My dad's favorite holiday was always Thanksgiving. For him, it meant all the people he loved came together and actually came to where he was. Even though the past few years he couldn't participate in our outdoor fun, he would sit on the porch and watch us all playing football, or frisbee, or croquet, or whatever we were playing that year. Plus, he got to have all of his favorite foods, and man oh man, did my dad love food! He always sat at the head of the table, and of course, he was the one to carve the turkey. God, I miss him!
I did take the time to grieve this week for him and for other situations that are going on in my life. Then, I thought about Janie's poem and spent some time reminiscing about all the amazing years we got to have with Pop. Remembering how happy Thanksgiving made him helped me to crawl out of the darkness and to find that flash of light.
It also got me to thinking about how to help my fellow cancer survivors get through what can be a really difficult part of the year. So, here are some ideas to help make the holidays more joyous. Whether you are missing a loved one, are going through a health battle, or are just stressed out over the holiday rush, these tips will get you through the next month and a half:
Holiday Survival Tips
1. Use your words. Tell your loved ones when you are feeling sad, sick, or overwhelmed. This doesn't make you a Grinch or weak. It makes you honest. You will be pleasantly surprised at how understanding others will be.
2. Know and honor your limits. If you're tired, rest. You don't have to do it all. No, you really don't.
3. Say yes. Accept offers of help. This is actually a gift you can give to the people who love you. They want to help. They need to help. Let them do it.
4. Establish realistic goals and expectations. Don't expect everything to be perfect. Remember that beauty lies in the imperfections.
5. Make plans with friends and family. Celebrating the holidays alone can be tough. It's good to surround yourself with positive people even if it's just to sit and have a cup of coffee together.
6. Give yourself permission to express how you feel. It's OK to be sad, tired, happy, excited, annoyed. It's OK to feel however you feel. Tune in to your emotions, and let yourself feel. Don't wallow, but let it out.
7. Make time for rest and relaxation. Actually calendar this. You need down time. When things get busy, this is the thing we tend to put off first, but it shouldn't be.
8. Don't ignore the holidays just because you don't feel well. You have every right to have fun and to feel joy. If you are going through cancer or any other health issue, it's imperative that you laugh and have fun. If you are grieving a loss, it's OK to smile and celebrate. If you're stressed out, find joy in the simple things . . . the smell of a Christmas tree, a cup of hot cocoa, snuggling up with a soft blanket in front of the fireplace.
9. Take care of your health. Make time to eat well and to exercise.
10. Be present. Don't let your mind wander to what should be or what could be. Just focus on the here and now, because you will never get this moment back. Live it and relish in it.
See? You really can go through the crazy storm of the holidays and find those flashes of joy and light. There are so many great things yet to come.
I hope your Thanksgiving was a great time of celebration, and I hope that the coming month will be filled with much happiness.